Some nights, I find sleep bearable, and I can doze off at will, dreaming some random dream in some random place where I don’t know anyone, except for you, of course, and we’d dance or smile or laugh or sing the night away.  Some nights, I dream perfect dreams and wake up just enough to still be on the bridge between fantasy and reality, but be happy either way, knowing you are on both sides.  

Other nights, though, I find myself dreading sleep, knowing it will never come, and my dreams won’t be random, because I won’t be dreaming at all, and I won’t be dancing or smiling or laughing or singing, and the night will inch along.  Some nights, I wonder what side of the bridge I’m on, or which side you’re on, or if I’m on your bridge at all.

I will love you like the trees love the birds - no matter how weak my limbs, I will hold you up while you sleep, and I will keep you there when you wake, opening your eyes to the view of the world, me as your window sill, or me as your umbrella leaf under a storm of pouring skies, or me as your window shade when the sun shines too brightly upon your skin, and your nose becomes red from the rays. I will love you like a tree loves the birds, knowing that home is where your nest sits, where you will lie down when you grow weary, but willing to let you go when you fly away, watching you soar into the skies, the wind guiding you where you go, knowing the chance that you may never return.  I will love you like a tree loves the birds.

I spent the whole day in my room watching old episodes of Pokemon. The WHOLE day.  I left my room about twice to eat tortilla chips with peanut butter on them.  I did nothing else today.  This is my life.

I drew the hands of the clock

through the back view of my tear drops

with hopes that maybe I could reverse time.

Any beat of this heart
that didn’t stop and pause to restart
never knew that it was mending

Any tear that wasn’t replaced
by the drops of these rainy days
hung on my cheek, pretending